In our last post, we talked about what makes a great dance teacher and why the relationship between teacher and dancer is so important. If that relationship matters, the dancer-parent one is just as, if not more, crucial. Parents often wonder how they can help their dancers achieve their goals, whether it’s reaching championship level or simply gaining confidence and enjoying their journey. In this post, we’ll dive into how parents can be a solid and supportive point of the triangle.
What Makes a Great Dance Parent?
Being a dance parent is a unique job—you’re balancing encouragement with logistics and helping your dancer navigate a world that can be both exhilarating and challenging. Add in that many dance parents are new to Highland dance, and learning about the Highland world can be, well, overwhelming to say the least. So, what makes a great dance parent? It all comes down to showing support in ways that allow your dancer to thrive, while also allowing them to take charge of their journey.
A great dance parent isn’t just about making sure their child gets to class on time (though that’s certainly helpful!). It’s about being a cheerleader, a motivator, and, sometimes, a source of comfort during setbacks. Dance parents help set the tone at home and offer emotional and practical support that allows their dancer to feel seen and safe.
When dancers feel secure in a parent’s unconditional love and support, they are more likely to enjoy their dance journey and truly excel.
Competing and striving for dance goals can be stressful enough; kids don’t need to hear added pressure from their parents. When they feel like they must perform well to please you, it takes away their agency and turns dance into a box they must check to earn your love. As the parent, it’s your job to make your child feel like you will love and support them, no matter the outcome of their dance career. When they feel secure in your unconditional support, they are more likely to enjoy their dance journey and truly excel.
One of the biggest things to remember is that while dance might be your child’s passion, it’s important to let it be theirs. Your role is to support, not control, their experience. When parents give their dancer space to take ownership of their progress, amazing things happen!
What Can I Do Short Term to Make My Dancer Feel Supported?
In the short term, the best way to support your dancer is to show up—literally and emotionally. Here are a few quick, simple ways to do just that:
Fuel them: Provide healthy snacks and meals that keep them energized and ready for dance, especially before class or a competition.
Celebrate the small wins: Whether it’s nailing a new step or just showing improvement, let your dancer know you’re proud of them. A quick “You worked so hard today!” after class can go a long way.
Be present: Attend competitions, performances, or even just their class performances. Knowing you’re in their corner means everything.
Listen: Sometimes dancers need to vent or share their frustrations. Instead of jumping in with advice, just be a sounding board. Let them process their thoughts with you as a safe space.
Avoid the post-class critique: After class, they’re probably tired and already a bit critical of themselves. Let them lead the conversation instead of grilling them on what went well or not-so-well.
What Can I Do Long Term to Make My Dancer Feel Supported?
In the long run, being a strong support system means helping your dancer sustain their passion and navigate the ups and downs that come with it. Here’s how you can help them in the long haul:
Encourage resilience: There will be tough moments—whether it’s a disappointing result at a competition, an injury, or just a rough patch in training. Remind them that progress isn’t always linear, and setbacks are part of the journey.
Promote balance: It’s easy for dancers to get caught up in their training, but it’s essential they have time to rest, recharge, and engage in other activities they love. Help them find balance between dance and life outside the studio.
Be patient: The road to improvement is a long one, and results may not come as quickly as either of you hope. Continue to provide encouragement even when progress seems slow.
Foster independence: As your dancer grows, allow them to take more responsibility for their goals and progress. Support them in setting goals, but let them lead in figuring out how to achieve them.
Communicate with teachers: Build a relationship with your dancer’s teachers. Open, respectful communication about your dancer’s progress, challenges, and goals helps ensure that everyone’s on the same page.
Creating a practice space at home, carving out time for rehearsals, and making sure your dancer has the necessary equipment and costumes are also part of your responsibility. The dancer takes ownership of the actual dancing, but a lot rests on your shoulders as well. By handling the logistics, you’re setting the stage for your dancer to focus on their growth and artistry.
Parent Cheat Sheet: Do This, Not That
Here’s a quick guide to help you be the best possible dance parent for your child!
Do this: Create a positive environment where they feel safe to share their struggles.
Not that: Criticize them harshly or comparing them to other dancers.
Do this: Celebrate effort and resilience.
Not that: Focus only on results and awards.
Do this: Offer encouragement and positivity.
Not that: Put pressure on them to be the best.
Do this: Be patient with their progress.
Not that: Expect immediate perfection or improvement.
Do this: Help them with logistics (getting to class, prepping for competitions).
Not that: Over-manage every aspect of their dance life.
At CSHD, we believe in the power of the parent-dancer bond, and we know that parents play a massive role in helping their dancers succeed. Whether it’s offering a listening ear or simply being present, your support makes all the difference. Stay tuned for the final post in our Triangle of Support series, where we’ll focus on the most important part of the triangle—the dancer!